Nourishing Love

Right Mindfulness (chapter 11)

The third miracle of mindfulness is to nurture the object of your attention. When was the last time you looked into the eyes of your beloved and asked "Who are you my darling?"

Don't be satisfied by a superficial answer, ask again, "Who are you who has taken my suffering as your suffering, my happiness as your happiness, my life and death as your life and death? My love, why aren't you a dewdrop? a butterfly? a bird?"

Ask with your whole being. If you do not give the right attention to the one you love, it is a kind of killing.

When you are in the car together, if you are alone in your thoughts, assuming you already know everything about her,(him) she (he) will slowly die.

But with your mindfulness, your attention will water the wilting flower. "I know you are here beside me and it makes me very happy." With attention you will be able to discover many new and wonderful things-her(his) joys, her(his) hidden aspirations.

If you do not practice appropriate attention, how can you say you love her? (him)

(The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings-Thich Nhat Hanh)

This principle applies not only to those we love romantically but all those we love. Our Parents, Children, neighbors, co-workers. Indeed if we are very good at love it becomes a part of who we are towards everyone for isn't the goal to be a loving person reaching with charity and love towards everyone who enters our sphere of influence?

We must take the necessary time to slow down and be mindful of those we are with. Many people in today's world are wilting. Nobody wilts from necessity it is always from neglect. If we who feel pain from neglectful behavior continue to neglect even in seemingly small ways, we are contributing to pain and suffering. We become pain, which is no place that anyone wants to be.

We need not be everything to everyone at once, but one at a time as we share our lives with others, strive to be truly present in that moment. Give and what comes back will surprise you.